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Battle of the Bad MLB Haircuts: Cut that Shit.

Tonight, just as my boyfriend I were sitting down to dinner, he flipped on the Phillies game which was just beginning. I enjoy watching baseball on TV. It’s a nice experience at the ballpark, but on TV, for the most part, you get a lot of interesting info via the commentators that you can’t get sitting in the stands. This evening the Phillies were playing the Reds at home.

After a quick three outs by the Phillies pitcher, Reds pitcher, Bronson Arroyo took the mound. I was totally unprepared for what I saw.

Apparently, Bronson never got the memo that attempting to look like Scott Stapp (former Creed front man, former and current douche bag) is NOT cool. Having hair that long in baseball is simply unnecessary. Two pitches in his dirty blond mane was just plain dirty looking. It was sticking out from under his hat in a way that vaguely reminded me of a NASCAR fan. (Disclaimer: I hate NASCAR, deal with it.) Why in God’s name would you keep your hair so long if you are a baseball player… a pitcher, no less? It’s not practical and it doesn’t look good. Three words Bronson: Cut that shit.

I did find out, after doing a google search on this guy, that apparently Bronson likes to believe he has a music career. Stick to your day job B, I’m quite sure it pays you well enough to afford a decent haircut.

All of my disgust for Arroyo’s hair, reminded me that there is one person on the Phillies who has a hideous ‘do as well. Chase Utley.

Please, please no hate mail. The guy has 21 home runs and counting and is leading the league in All Star votes- not to mention his undeniably chiseled jaw line. Let’s just say, I’m a fan. HOWEVER, his hair is extremely problematic. Right now, it’s so bad, I’d prefer him to leave his batting helmet on. Actually, come to think of it, that would be pretty hot either way…

I digress. With this look, Chase is either trying to be The Fonz, or a baritone in an Olde Tyme barber shop quartet. Chase has a great wife and I just don’t understand how she can let him leave the house like that. I also can’t decide whether or not he uses product to achieve that kind of sheet. These are things I guess the world just isn’t supposed to understand.

 

So, tonight in Philadelphia, it is the battle of the bad haircuts. Currently, my Phillies are hanging in there by one run. Frankly, I don’t think that a team who has a starting pitcher who once wore corn rows stands a chance… but hopefully, the Phils will at least win by a hair.

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